STEPFORD STORIES: The Stepford Crack and Tat Police

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Stepford Crack and Tat Police

I spent the afternoon at the Stepford Elementary School. As typically happens, I saw some things that astonished me. I'm always on the lookout for things that will write and I'm never disappointed. I thought I had found today's writing material when one of the PTA Mom's came around the corner in a t-shirt that read "Hate the Sin. Love the Sinner." My second grader said, "MOM! Did you see that shirt???? It said 'HATE'!" Nice. Gotta love that "Christian" attitude.

However, Sally the Sinner Lover didn't take the cake today. As I was photographing my kids on the playground, I spied with my little eyes something very, very wrong. I would describe it, but there are just no words.

Seriously. This lack of self-awareness boggles the mind.

3 Comments:

SFI Group Inc said...: Hey that ass looks familiar! Were you at my kids school today taking pix of my butt? LOL LOL LOL This is terrrible, but I feel like that when I wear low-rise jeans. Did you tell this fashion-don't that crack kills?
Love T; June 4, 2009 at 9:07 PM
Wendy Stelly said...: Please tell me it was a student and not a teacher - please! Your fav teacher!; June 9, 2009 at 9:23 PM
Contemplations of an Army Wife said...: I don'tk now which is better...the crack or the bottom of the tramp stamp sticking out...damn, being gone from the blogosphere for so long has given me a plethora of things to make me pee my pants!; June 26, 2009 at 5:51 PM

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Rules I Live By

1. Thou shall not speak Redneck.

2. When you can walk in heels, you can wear them.

3. Do not phone stalk. I am not deaf.

4. There is no such thing as a "bra top". It's a bra and you're wearing it without a top.

5. There is no circumstance that exists where my eyes should see your thong.

6. If you wax, I don't need to know.

7. If you need to wax, please do.

8. Paint your toenails - often.

9. Respect my personal space. If I can hear you breathing, you're too close.

10. If you hate me, I can live without knowing it and you will survive without telling me.

Rules For My Children

1. Pokemon Trainer is not a real profession.

2. There is no profession I will approve of that includes a pole.

3. Sometimes the only way out of something is through it.

4. Life isn’t fair, but you’ve gotten a better start than 99% of the world’s population.

5. Money will not make you happy, but it can make your life a whole lot easier (so work hard).

6. If you’re not getting what you want, trying giving someone else what they want.

7. Sarcasm is encouraged.

8. Gratitude is required.

9. Your life will not turn out how you planned.

10. Number 9 is a good thing.

11. While honesty is the best policy, knowing when to shut up is just as critical.

12. Be kind to wait staff, they have hard jobs and they have control over the food you are going to put in your mouth.

13. Alcohol, a piece of plywood, a flight of stairs and a fire extinguisher should never be used at the same time.

14. Tattoos are permanent, piercing are not.

15. Vote ... Vote ... Vote ... Vote!

STEPFORD STORIES

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Stepford Crack and Tat Police

3 Comments:

Post a Comment

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