Monday, June 22, 2009

One Martini, Two Martini

One martini, two martini, three martini, floor...

The husband and I had a rare night out Saturday night. This happens about once a year and usually by accident. It just so happened that our children were spending the night with friends and some fellow Soccer Parents were hitting Stepford's hippest, hot spot, Ra Sushi. Ra's website boasts "There's never a dull moment in the Ra. The music is pumping, the mood is upbeat and the atmosphere is as stimulating as a big bite of wasabi. We know you like to have fun, we do too." When our friends said, "Would you like to join us?" Well, how could we resist?

I pulled out my cutest capris, four-inch heels and four-inch silver hoop earrings, along with my water bra to fill up the booby shirt I borrowed from my friend (work it, work it) and off we went. True to Ra's website, the music was loud (I realize by even mentioning this, I am demonstrating how very old I am). Our party chose a table outside so we could watch the Maserati's cruise up and down the main strip. The fact that we did not all end up hearing impaired by the time dinner was over was a bonus. It would have been a serious tragedy had we dropped a buck fifty on sushi and martinis and ended up deaf.

We had a great time and I was reminded why it is good for me to get out every now and then. I learned quite a bit during my three-hour, four-martini dinner. In case you haven't been out in a while, I thought I would share.

1. Hot pants and stiletto gladiators are all the rage this season. If you don't know what hot pants are, you're too young to be reading this blog. If you do know what hot pants are, you're probably confused about the stiletto gladiators. I've chosen a picture of them for the post as a reference. If you're still confused, let me confirm - YES these shoes are, apparently, to be worn with short shorts. Who knew, right?

2. Having hot, young, rockin' legs are a waste, if your ankles wobble in your heels when you walk. I have a rule about heels in my house. When you can walk in them, you can wear them. Some of the young Stepford Wives in training clearly were not raised in a home that had this rule.

3. Much to my surprise, the Bumpit target market is not white trash teenagers. Apparently, all of Stepford (with my flat-ass crown as the exception) is on the Bumpit bandwagon. (Seriously, isn't it enough that we live in Stepford? Does our hair really have to look like it's the 1960's again?)

4. Despite what someone (hello, frienemy) once told me, I really do rock my four-inch silver hoops and do not look "hookerish" in them. (Thank you, Nik and Man for confirming this prior to martini number three. Any later in the evening and I would have decided it was just the martinis talking.)

5. Four is still my martini limit - no matter how much water I attempt to consume in between the $10 libations. However, I was also flattered to hear (thanks again, Nik and Man) that even though I don't drink beer, I have a beer personality rather than a martini one. I consider this high praise indeed.

Check, please!


J.Me. said...

Nice. =) I had to look up "Bumpit." Have you seen Katy Perry and Lady Gaga? Pants-less. Everywhere they go. No good.

Kristi Stevens said...

Oh yes, I've seen it. Let's just say the timer on my rear end is waaaay past that look.


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