Thursday, June 18, 2009

Why I'll Never Really Be a "Mom Blogger"

I read something this afternoon on Lindsay Ferrier's blog, Suburban Turmoil, that reminded me why I will never, ever really be a "Mom Blogger". Why I wouldn't want to be one if I could. Actually, it reminded me of why I don't really like most mothers very much at all. Don't get me wrong, I like specific mothers. It's mothers in a general sense with which I take issue.

Samantha at Temporarily Me Dot Com started a shit storm by implying that mothers that work outside the home (WOHM) have a harder job than mothers that work inside the home (WAHM). WTF? I had to read Lindsay's post a couple of times to make sure I wasn't missing something. I wasn't. I clicked over to Samantha's post and realized there really is a turf war going on between WAHM's and WOHM's.

Are you freaking kidding me?

I have been three different kinds of a mother in the twelve years since my son was born. I've been a WOHM, then a SAHM (stay at home mom), then a WAHM, and now I've come full circle and am once again a WOHM. Each has it's own challenges and rewards. Each was appropriate for me and my children at the particular time I was doing each job. Why in the world would I care if the choice I had made for my family was harder or easier than another mother's choice?

All mothers work for different reasons. Some have to work to pay the bills. Some choose to work to pay the bills. Some love what they do so much that it is just a part of who they are. Why do the rest of us care so much?

If you are a working mother of any stripe and are reading this, listen up. Working mothers cannot afford to be divided like this. Lindsay was absolutely correct to call bullshit on Samantha's post. We have to stick together because there are things that really matter to us all. Things we must come together and fight for. You know, little details like equal pay for equal work, quality affordable childcare, employers that allow women to balance their careers and their children? You know, BIG FREAKING DEALS?

If you want to get down in the hog pen with someone, let me suggest Suzanne Venker's blog. Now, here is a woman who is worth your time and energy to take to task. Because this woman doesn't want you to work at all before your children begin school and she doesn't mind telling you so. And ladies, she is not alone. So, pull your heads out of your collective butts and leave each other alone.

We are all mothers 24/7, we all have jobs, we all have to balance the time we spend away from our children.


Suburban Turmoil said...

Sorry, but you just wrote this post, which PROVES you're a mom blogger. Heh.

I never thought of myself as a mom blogger, either, but other people think of me that way. Saying you're not is a losing battle if you're a mom who blogs.

Kristi Stevens said...

OMG Lindsay. You're right. Shit.

Kimberly said...

K..once you are a mom, you can never not be a mom blogger in some way!
Yay... love that you added "I Was Here" by Lady A as your official blog song :-) That song speaks to me on so many levels!

Anonymous said...

Women sometimes create a lot of unnecessary problems with this insistence on competing with each other, instead of helping each other

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